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Flippers & A Tail?


She said that she knew the next day, and on a certain level I did too. 10 pregnancy tests later, we were both pretty certain that we were no longer alone. And honestly, it freaked us the hell out. We both wanted children but the plan was to try in two years and that even seemed soon. There it was, though, 18 pink lines and two led words later; we were pregnant.

Step one: confusion

I always thought step one was denial. Maybe it was, but it just happened so quickly that I jumped ahead to confusion. No anger, not at all. I just wasn’t sure what to do next. We drifted apart for about 18 hours. But only for 18 hours.

Step two: acceptance

Well, it’s happening. I love my wife and she loves me a lot too. We make a pretty damn good family right now with Satch + Punks, so why not something else? I secretly realize that when Stephanie told me I’d never feel ready to start a family, that she was right. How could I feel ready for this? It’s scary. It wasn’t according to our plan, but it’s here. And you know what? It’s pretty awesome.

Flippers & A Tail? ×

There’s this little flippered alien parasite growing inside of my wife.

Step three: excitement

There’s this little thing; this little surprise growing inside of stephanie’s belly. It’s not a person yet. It’s not a baby yet, it’s some sort of tiny alien parasite. It has flippers. And a tail. There’s this little flippered alien parasite growing inside of my wife. It sounds kind of fun. Sometimes it makes her want to vomit a little and sometimes it makes her a little more hungry. She has no awareness of it being there, stealing her food, slowly evolving into something vaguely more humanoid. It started out as two cells, then became a tadpole, then grew little flippers and is working on tiny little fingerlets. I wonder if it wants mittens.

We picked out a midwifery practice and Stephanie scheduled an appointment. They didn’t give us who we wanted, but she called back and rescheduled to get Sara. She seems nice—she has a kind smile in her picture at least.